I’m so sick of love songs

Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss? This one thought in the book ‘The Inheritance of Loss’ that had me thinking and thinking. The thought still resonates in me. We take for granted the things,the people we have and never value it. Its only when we lose something, do we realise the loss. The depth of loss is more painfull than anything in the world and most hard part is to get past and move on. We normally take for granted on how much some person can be a part of you, more than any of your own body part. Its only a loss that makes us realise how pathetically dependent you are on another person.

Anyway, you lose some relations and nothing much can be done about past. You need to get over it and move on. Thats the way the cookie crumbles.. What do you do to get over some person? the first thing to do would be ‘to try’ not think of them. Easier said than done. The thought of not to have thoughts of someone part to you is very scary! The smallest of things hurts the most.

You might have got an idea by this time that i am trying to get over a certain close person. I am trying to be ‘Just friends’ with her. I must confess that i am doing a bad job at it. I thought i will altogether stop doing things which might make me think of her and believe me .. Then i have to literally stop doing everything.

I did a cleanup ritual. This was my first time. I did hardware cleanup (Safely locked some stuff given by her or belonging to her). I did software cleanup (Cleanup my Computer, Safely put into a vault(folder with password) all of her photos, vedios and the audios(yeah! I had recorded couple of conversations.. Pathetic me!!). Changed my wallpaper to some cartoon. Took off her snap from my wallet( This isnt in fashion anymore!). Took off her pic from the frame which i had in office(yeah..yeah.. things i do..) All done and still no help at all. After doing all this, I realised that this cleanup helped me in no way all all. I needed no materialistic thing to make me think of her. I just did all this to convince myself that i am putting some effort to get over her. I played a song and my mind suddenly drifted into the past and some thought of ‘her’. Now..This can be tricky.. I have a 750GB hard disk with i dont know how many songs, I have copied some 8GB of my likable songs to Creative Vision M and a selective evergreen playlist of 1.5Gb onto my Nokia Music express. I had a perennial playlist having all the songs on my mobile. Now..Every song made me think of her! I started deleting one by one the songs that in someway made me think of her and Voila!! My playlist was empty!! I was left out with less than 10 songs! I couldnt believe that everysong in my playlist was about love,girl,togetherness or seperation! I was left only with few songs from JhonnyGaddar,RDB and couple of kannada songs. Of all the Bryan Adams songs i had, I am left only with ‘On a day like today’ I felt pathetic! I listen to songs almost all the time. Some 10 songs was never enough to keep me satisfied but i had to be hard on myself. I actually am listening to only one song now which keeps me motivated not to listen to other songs 🙂 The song named:why can’t I turn off the radio? It goes like this…

——————————————————————————–
(It’s ridiculous)
It’s been months for some reason I
(Can’t get over us)
And I’m stronger than this
(Enough is enough)
No more walking ’round with ma head down
I’m so over being blue
Crying over you

(Chorus)
And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that callender I had
That’s marked July 23
Cos since there’s no more you
There’s no more anniversery
I’m so fed up of my thoughts of you
And your memories
And now every song reminds me
Of what used to be

(Chorus)
That’s the reason I’m
And I’m so sick of love songs
So tierd of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?

O-o-h (Leave me alone)
Leave me alone (Stupid love song)
Hey,
Don’t make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Then lettin go
Turning of the radio

(Chorus x3)
Cos I’m
And I’m so sick of love songs
So tierd of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?
(So why can’t I turn off the radio?)
Why can’t I turn off the radio?
——————————————————————————–

I will end this blog here… Watch the space, definitely expect more on this.

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One Response to “I’m so sick of love songs”

  1. Well this is my favorite blog …..Whenever i read it, i feel as if you have written on my behalf ..Amazing way of presenting things and i love the way you add humour to even small things.:)

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